I think I might have mentioned that I tend to procrastinate a bit when it comes to my art and anything related to it.
I’ve updated my website and have had it finished for a couple of months, maybe more like 4 months and I haven’t told the world or anyone, really, that it is finished and ready for viewing. I’ve been procrastinating, making excuses – “It’s not ready”, “It’s not exactly the way I want it”, “The art isn’t good enough”, and the list goes on and on. Replace the “it’s” and the “art” with an “I” and you can imagine what’s going on in my head!
I recently read a book called Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. Ms. Brown recounted a story about her daughter: she wanted her mother to get her out of a a swim meet race because she didn’t think she would win/finish/do well. Long story short, Ms. Brown asked her daughter if she could make her goal be to just show up to the race and get wet. I’ll leave you to read the book and see what happens, but that question has resonated with me since I read the book. I make choices so much harder than they have to be. I found it’s so much easier for me to agree with myself to just “show up and get wet”. What I do from there is for another blog post but getting “showing up and getting wet” has really helped me.
I recently sent an email announcing my newly designed and improved website to people I have come in contact with who have bought my art work over the years. It was really scary for me to hit send on that email. I’m asking everyone I know to see what I’ve created. I’m exposing myself to criticism and judgment, but I’m also exposing myself to positive comments and outcomes too. I don’t know what’s going to happen but I’ve jumped into the pool and I’m swimming. Thanks Brené Brown!
Provost Commission, 2012 © Libby Hintz
Get a towel. You’re going to need it. Way to go at ‘making’ the decision to jump. Peace.
Now that you showed up and got wet, it won’t be long before you are ‘swimming laps.’
Love the way you write! Did you ever write professionally? You tend to tie thoughts well and move from one point the next with lovely segues and transitions. Your titles always connect the writing to the core of the point you are making. This is a skill.
You always allow the reader to identify with a deeper meaning for themselves . That connection is what a good writer does.
Ah but I digress. I am riddled with self doubt, at times, with some pieces. Other pieces or some entire concentrations, I am totally committed to and will move forward on new work with ease. I get stuck on decisions about color, a form, a word, and will perseverate for endless amounts of time on,” should I or shouldn’t I” about that particular decision. The more I let go, the easier it is for the solution to arrive. I am my own worst enemy . I have a lot of male energy and try to push my way to a decision. When I back off and let time take it’s course and speak to me when it is ready, things work out much better. For some reason, I am always in a rush for accomplishments,for completed pieces. That natural tendency needs a bridle and a sharp jerk backwards. I continue working on that.
For me though, the process of making art is peaceful and cathartic. When I let go of my quest to be famous and on the walls of great art institutions, it is easier for pure joy to overshadow my ego.
I have never written professionally and it’s one of those areas that I haven’t been comfortable with in the past. I’m getting more comfortable writing, I write a few times a week and that has helped.
I grew up in Texas and we used to have to take these tests in elementary and middle school. I don’t remember what they were called and I don’t know if they had them in NY when you were growing up, anyway, one of the tests entailed reading a paragraph or two and then having to choose between 4 titles that best highlighted the story. I always got them “wrong” so I am delighted to read that you like my titles!
I am totally with you on getting stuck on decisions, my place to be stuck is usually getting started! I’m wondering if your natural tendency could use a sweet, gentle pat on your soul instead of a “bridle and a sharp jerk backwards”.
Thank you for sharing, as always, I am in awe of your ability to articulate how you feel and think!
Ah, Libby, Mr. Resistance is having his way with me every single day! Well, that’s what I call “him” on my own blog, as I study the hows and whys of my “stuckness.” Just know that the more important the work, the breakthrough, the ideas, the more Resistance we encounter, and it shows us our direction. Notice it, take a breath, then go do your work.